Strictly speaking from the spiritual point of view I do understand what is meant by emi-esu to mean demon possessed but not until recently, I had thought the concept was overrated and wrongly used to justify bad behavior. For instance when a thief or a ritual killer is caught here in Nigeria he blames it on the devil

Recently Tomiwa, a young girl adopted by my mother in the village was discovered to be responsible for a missing sum of 5,000 naira from her room. After series of interrogation she admitted it was emi-esu that constantly tells her to steal or rather take things that don’t belong to her. How the emi-esu never tells her to take things like books, novels but money and valuables beats my imagination.

While I can understand the stealing of money, what I do not understand is her replacing the content of my mother’s eye drops with water and administering same to the 82 year old woman for weeks thereby worsening an already bad case of glaucoma. Now that has to be sheer wickedness. When asked why she did that, She  blamed it on the emi-esu.

This and many other acts of wickedness of man against fellow man indeed calls for concern and are very disturbing too. I wonder why people do what they do? You try to be nice to someone and all you get is backstabbing and wickedness in return. This happens in families; husband kills wife, siblings fighting one another, children against parents, neighbors against neighbors. In offices, instances of  rivalry and unexplainable hatred that degenerate into unimaginable wickedness against fellow colleagues and friends are rampant.

I watched a video recently of a nanny who poured hypo into the meal of the child she was taking care of. When asked why, she blamed it on the devil.

The truth is that even God says the heart of a man is truly “deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9) However to do wickedness and try to pass it on emi-esu or any other reason is not acceptable. At least own it with your full chest otherwise repent and be converted.

We are responsible for our choices. It is only when we have made those choices that we get help from either God or the devil. I am positive that the devil is surely going to say “not me” to many of these allegations

Wickedness is first a choice you make consciously. Own it or be converted

I heard this disturbing story yesterday and just can’t take it off my mind. A young lady in her twenties traumatized by a childhood experience decided to seek counsel. Her story, pathetic as it sounds is a recurring one in our society and not uncommon in some others.

Growing up, her parents had open their door to a “Pastor” who was a regular visitor in their home. Each time he came, he would spend a few nights and over time he warmed his way into the hearts of the parent of this young lady who was then a teenager (14 years).

At night this unholy guest would creep into this little teenager’s bed and abuse her. She attempted reporting to her mum who not only ignored her but also shouted her down with a claim that she must have been hallucinating. I mean this mother believed her guest above her own daughter. That’s strange, don’t you think?

Eventually with no one to confide in, the so called “pastor” continued to abuse this girl and eventually got the parent to release her to him for a deliverance session which he conducted outside the home. Well, you can only imagine what the session was like.

This whole business of rape and assault continued with this teenager until she grew up to become a young lady completely abused, traumatized and disillusioned about life. She summoned courage and decided to share the experience with her two other sisters. Alas! The two other sisters were also victims in the hands of this demonic agent. He had deflowered the three of them right under the roof of his kind hosts.

My heart bled as I listened to the pathetic story and honestly I am worried that a mum should be so careless to be hosting a devil right under her roof.

Mums Wake up!

How can a woman sleep the sleep of “death” and not notice the changes in her daughter? As a Mum what do you talk about with your kids? It is not enough to give them chocolates and ice creams. You must build trust in your children. They must be able to confide in you.
I mean what kind of mum would throw a report of assault by her daughter aside and call it hallucination? Is it not better to err on the side of caution. Haba?

This is a call to all Mums and parents in general. Please stop bringing up children that you don’t have the intention to raise. To have your three daughters raped under your own roof is enough trauma, but to have it done by a guest you invited into your home with a good intention is devastating. What happens to mother’s instinct? Haa! Oluwa gba wa o.

Don’t be too trusting of strangers and even family members. Most often rape is committed by known associates, family members and trusted people.

Read the story on rape here “ I am a woman. I have been assaulted, I have been abused, I have been sexually molested I have been raped. Yet how I wish someone had taught me how not to be raped”

Mums wake up! It’s not enough to pray for your children. You must WATCH and pray. You owe it to them.

One of my most demanding occupations is the job of being a Nigerian. I have heard people talk about it and I have rationalized it as another joke. But honestly, just being a Nigerian is work; trust me it is a career that we (Nigerians) have to live with.

It doesn’t matter who or where you are, being a Nigerian demands responsibility; lots of explanation about failed leadership, infrastructure gaps, corruption, tribal and ethnic differences, terrorism, insecurity etc.

Have you ever wondered why we have so many religious charlatans in Nigeria? It is because we have to and as a matter of importance pray about everything. For instance, to go to your village, in addition to praying for protection against witches and wizards, you must raise prayers on the following:
• safety on the roads,
• security from kidnappers & terrorists
• Prayer against flat tires from bad road
• harassment from Police, Road safety officials, VIO etc.
• Fuel scarcity or adequacy: That your fuel does not run out or that the 10 liters in your tank does not dry out before you arrive the village etc…

Things that ordinarily should be logical and straightforward have taken Nigerians to mountains to pray. For instance seeking admission to Federal universities, paying house rents, children’s school fees and medical treatment for simple illness like malaria may demand a fast or spiritual consultation.

Everyday is loaded with its own kind of fear; loss of jobs, road accidents, ritual killing, yahoo yahoo and a host of others. You are afraid to walk to your neighbour’s house for lack of trust and insecurity. Everyone is a potential suspect of being evil and dangerous.

The truth is that whether home or abroad, every Nigerian is a story teller or better still an unsolicited advocator of gross inefficiency. At home, here in Nigeria, the story is endless. Once you enter a place and say “eku Nigeria” or “how far”. You may not leave the place in the next 5 hours.

Abroad, when you introduce yourself as a Nigerian, the questions will begin to roll in. Questions on why our leaders are so corrupt or our education system is poor. Either way, Nigerians are busy people; either justifying or assailing this great nation.

This last few months have been most traumatic for almost everyone in this career especially with the cash crunch and the pain of transacting business at the remote rural areas of the country not to talk of the 2023 election brouhaha . Now that the presidential election is over, can we at least have cash to transact businesses?

Now don’t get me wrong, I love cashless policy and I have been a propagator of it. But being coerced into it as done in the last weeks is detrimental to the economy. With over 40% of the Nigerian population in rural areas and most of them financially excluded, one can only imagine how horrible life had been. It is unfortunate that like in all cases of a fight between two elephants, the grass suffers. so also the masses have suffered greatly in this past weeks.

Let us come back to the issue of being a Nigerian as a lifetime occupation. As traumatic as it seems and the JAPA syndrome notwithstanding one thing stands out; being Nigerians is what we all have to defend as we do not have any other option. Read about the JAPA here: https://glitter-s.com/2022/12/31/the-japa-generation-a-generation-to-watch/ Relocating to Canada, US or UK are only temporary measures. No nation is big enough to host the largest black nation in the world. Besides, a lizard in Nigeria can only grow to become a big fat lizard in the developed nation not an alligator.

Honestly, I love Nigeria and seriously I don’t have a relocation plan. I am truly proud to be a Nigerian. Maybe not so proud when I have to defend some of the senseless things that happen here. But proud nonetheless.

The resilience of Nigerians is second to none in the world. It is no wonder that in spite of the differences that divide us we are still kind of glued together. In spite of the so many threats of breakaway, we still end up being bedfellows. The more we try, the more we are stuck together by intermarriages, faith and I guess divine forces.

I am hopeful that nothing lasts forever and soon this narrative will change and Nigeria will be better. Then, and only then will being a Nigerian may not be such a crazy job after all.

So many things have been said about the Nigeria Japa syndrome; a sudden move by Nigerians to migrate to other countries particularly the USA, UK and Canada for greener pastures and better opportunities. In the definition of Favor Babajamu in her vlog https://youtu.be/RPR5WjlG1xI

Japa means: depart or flee your country and never return.

That Nigeria is losing her strong, healthy, promising professionals and upcoming youth to the migration craze to other nations is no longer news. Statistics show that over 30,000 Nigerians relocated to the United Kingdom alone in the year 2022. This figure does not include all their dependents. How ironic that one Nigerian student in the UK could arrive with 5 dependents.

My focus on the Japa move is however not on the immediate losses to our Nation as this has become very obvious in the dearth of professionals in the health sector, education and several others. My interest is in the future generation of Nigerian migrants and their offspring in their new countries. I make bold to say this generation is indeed one to watch out for.

Today many Nigerians are doing great exploits in foreign land. The likes of Noel Ifeanyi Alumona, who won the 2022 AFS Award for Young Global Citizens, and became the first African to win the prize since its inception in 1914 will continue to increase in the wake of the rise of Nigerian elite settlers abroad.

Just imagine. What would become the future of these young Nigerians migrating with their parents to the developing world? Given the background of the struggling, determined parents and would be parents, it is reassuring and comforting to state without reservations that these countries are in for a shock as Nigerians “may” gradually take over their economy.

Now don’t get me wrong, it will not happen in two years maybe not even in ten years but in less than three decades, the story of this migration will bounce back on the receiving nations. There will be great transference of wealth, power and position to Nigerians in these nations. The beneficiaries may not be the parents who migrated and may have to do three jobs to survive but rather their children. Imagine a Nigerian (child of an immigrant) becoming the president of the United States of America or Prime Minister in the UK (the likes of Kemi Badenoch)The sad thing however may be that when this happens, many of them would have changed nationality and that is when we will know the value of what we have lost as a nation. I guess by then they may be invited back as “expatriates”.

To really assimilate this truth, I wish to draw our attention to the slave trade and several migration patterns in the past. I don’t want to make this write-up a long one, rather I like it to be thought provoking and forward looking beyond the perceived immediate consequences of the Japa Syndrome.

Just think for a moment about these;

1. What is the average group of Nigerians migrating? You can classify them as middle aged, average class, vibrant youth, educated, skilled, highly determined and diligent workers etc. Many with their whole families, young children and so many others that would be born in the new countries
2. The high level of desperation to leave is also worrisome. I have seen seemingly successful people dispose of their properties, life time investments in exchange for a PR in Canada.
3. Another shocking fact is that family that may be considered below average are as desperate with many of them resulting into borrowing and pulling funds from friends and relatives.
4. The recent changes in the migration policies of Canada and UK has become so dynamic and suspiciously flexible such that one cannot but trace the changes to the upsurge of immigrants from African countries. They dangle carrot before unsuspicious migrants. Now what are the implication of these policies?

The Japa conversation is only just beginning. I would rather be positive in my thoughtMigration does not automatically equal better life. It comes at a cost and my advice for anyone who still wishes to join the race is to ensure that due diligence is done before leaving. You must have a strategy that has several options in place. This is because a lizard in Nigeria can only grow to be a fat lizard in the USA but certainly not an alligator.

He crowns the year with His goodness and His paths drop fatness (Psalm 65:11)

Doing the same things the same way almost always yield the same result. Folks, year 2022 is creeping, I mean running gradually out and here we all are. It is time to begin to take stock and take a peep into year 2023. I like the popular saying; it’s not over until it is or until you win. but sometimes it is not over until we REFOCUS, change the direction of our gaze, deemphasize our emphasis and readjust our binoculars on something different. To me this has remained my end of year password for years now.

Remember we entered the year with quite a huge list of expectations and many of us had documented Personal Development Plans (PDPS). Read about PDPs here ; https://glitter-s.com/2020/11/16/year-2020-in-perspective-a-review-of-my-personal-development-plan-pdp/

It is easy to tick and smile at the things we have been opportune to achieve from our list but what happened to those that just stood firm like mount Everest and Kilimanjaro and refused to shift base? They just won’t bulge in spite of several strategies, calculation and consultations. We even went spiritual; fasting, praying and binding and the mountain still says “I am still here o”

So what next? The password is REFOCUS; shift your gaze on something different, divert your energy elsewhere. For once let yourself go, live in the euphoria of the season. Remember, hope is for the living and no mountain is bigger than a man with hope. Indeed a living dog is better than a dead lion. (Ecclesiastes 9:4). Undermine the mountain, common(ize) it and make it feel insignificant. Guys, it’s time to shift focus. Haba e don do self! Let’s change focus in these last weeks of the year as they roll by.

Join me in this crazy excitement of living the times and not being stereotyped by this achievement mentality. Guys I’m shifting focus. I am so so excited. it’s almost contagious. My best season is here at last and that is just enough for me.

You want to join me? Well this is it? Lined up annually are activities that help me refocus, change my priorities and prepare me for the following year. I am sure you will find similar activities around your environment irrespective of where you are on the globe. And guess what? In the midst of these activities in the past, my miracles often happen the mountains just began to shift unnoticed and indeed God crowns the year with His goodness and bountiful harvests as I focus on Him in appreciation and adoration for still being here on planet earth. He didn’t bring us here this far to abandon us.
So guys set your calendar, roll out your dancing shoes, give yourself a break, take that vacation, let’s celebrate our victory of life over death, triumph over defeat, safety in the midst of chaos, safety on our roads, healings and the many deliverances from several insecurity challenges of our continent. Yes maybe we indeed lost a few things and very precious people, or some dreams were thwarted and roads shut I’d say like my mentor, God is the reason why everything is not lost and something is still remaining.

To God alone be all the glory forever and ever and ever.

PS: Below are a few of the annual activities that occupies me and gets me prepared for the new year. Be my guests or look for similar ones around you but by all means dont be caught sulking.

Welcome to your most beautiful end of the year experience

I am sure we have heard it said that the race of life is not a sprint but a marathon with bends and turns. Sometimes it is smooth and at others not so smooth. Sometimes it rains and at other times it trickles. In our selfishness and inconsiderate attitude, a little challenge here or there often throws us overboard but nonetheless it doesn’t change the fact that God remains constant.

I find Ebunoluwa submission on her page a summary of what our attitude should be in this month. Afterall, God has not brought us this far from January to abandon us in November. https://www.instagram.com/ebunoluwatofunmee/

Read except from her story below:

“I woke up to a rejection mail yesterday. I found this rejection particularly hurtful because I had expended time and already began training for the project. In that downtime, it felt like the sum total of all the good in October waned in comparison to this one rejection.

However, God stopped me right in my tracks and I soon realized how immensely ungrateful I’d be, in such state, failing to see God’s faithfulness despite the rejection. Often times, we find it easy to recount and dwell on our disappointments and expectations that didn’t materialize. At those times, we equally forget that the same God is the God of both the hills and valleys. God is no less greater in my failures than He is in my wins.

So today, I set out with a grateful heart and confidence in the God who works all things together for good according to His purpose. And, I took a picture as well to serve as a memorial and reference for when my big break finally comes through.”

This is not just a rhyme but this September has indeed been a September to remember. A season I will not forget in a while. So it is with nostalgia that I bid September 2022 goodbye. Adieu to a great month.

Life’s challenges are sometimes like trying to chew up an elephant. It’s so enormous that starting is always a problem. But somehow we start anyhow. I learnt early from a great man; W.F Kumuyi that rich people save before they spend while the poor will spend before saving. Ultimately poor people never get to save anything because, if you are from a country like Nigeria where you are your own “government”, you will not have anything left to save. So I always put aside some savings when I have a project to carry out. However from experience I have realized that even your savings cannot be enough. There is a Master Builder.

For [of course] every house is built and furnished by someone, but the Builder of all things and the Furnisher [of the entire equipment of all things] is God
(Hebrew 3:4 AMPC)

Once upon a time I had wanted to change my car to what we call “tear leather”a Nigeria parlance for brand new automobile instead of the fairly used Tokunbo cars we are used to. I spent over two years saving for it but I never could save 50% of what was required. As the savings grew, so also did the unforeseen challenges of life reared up from time to time until my 50% became 20% and my dream of owning a tear leather car was almost a mirage. However, just when I was about to give up, the Master Builder of all things showed up and arranged a brand new (tear leather) car for me (story for another day). He showed up, made a “mess” of my savings and replaced it with His favor. This was over a decade ago.

So this September, He showed up again and upturned a near embarrassing situation in a most miraculous way. He made a “mess” of all my efforts and replaced it with His favor. He had said to me earlier in the year that Five Loaves two fishes was more than enough…. That became my best song since the year evolved and the truth is that it became a reality in September.

So guys, I have said all of these to remind someone that no matter how tough or rough the road is, keep going because the Master Builder is at work and His time remains the best time. Play your part of building and furnishing and watch Him place the icing on the cake of your life. Remember that the darkest night always usher in a bright new morning.

If you survived Covid 19, Monkeypox, violence and insecurity of different dimensions, climate changes and many other challenges too numerous to list at a time like this, then be assured it’s not over until you win.

This October shall be yours to remember and many more.

Goodbye September.
Welcome October, another month to remember.

Tribute to my colleague, my friend and my dearest sister
BOLA ONAOLAPO SIDIKAT ALAYA (NEE OLUMOH)

How do you ever learn to say a final goodbye to a loved one?
How is the best way to show how hurt you are?
Sometimes you groan, you cry, you weep tremble and moans.
Yet, everything seems inadequate to express your grief and pain.
The pain is stuck in your chest … almost choking, yet not going away

Often if you are like me, your bowels move like a case of diarrhea
And your frequency to the restroom to excrete and pee increases
You are tensed, your heart beats faster and then when the night comes
All you feel is emptiness and a deep wish to have spent more time together

All of these, I and many who loved you have felt in the last two days
HAJIA BOLA ONAOLAPO, SIDIKAT ALAYA
You were my senior in the college, Queen Elizabeth Secondary School
Though I hardly knew you then
Then our path crossed again when you joined Afribank Nig Plc
Where we became colleagues and were divinely connected.

BOLA ONAOLAPO SIDIKAT ALAYA (NEE OLUMOH)
You were a seasoned banker, unassuming and very thorough
As a marketer and Head of Retail, you gave it all it took
Even though I knew the stress on your tender self
You kept at it, pursuing diligently and never giving up
I remember with nostalgia the many MPRs
The backlash when targets are not met

You were my office gist partner, when you returned from marketing
We would gist and talk about how tasking the target was
But we kept at it
Your simplicity and humility humbled me
You never looked down on anyone
Despite your privileged background, you had room for everyone.
You were a giver to the core and often empathize with junior colleagues

We had a great time as colleagues and it wasn’t long before you became my friend
We shared concerns together and your wisdom was unmatched
Then one day you dropped the bombshell,
You were leaving the bank.
Nothing we said mattered, your mind was made up.
I remember your exact word “okele gbigbe pelu Alafia…..”
You chose peace and serenity and opted for government work
With very much less pay.

It was a blow to me and others who loved you.
Why would you leave a better paying job?
I watched with mixed feelings as you exited the bank in style,
Like all you do, resplendently and gloriously you resigned to join the Kwara State Government
It was a courageous move, one we all thought was too much a sacrifice
But you thought differently; your reasons were apt and your humility made it acceptable
You left a vacuum in my heart and in the bank
For me, it began my own desire to exit as well

BOLA ONAOLAPO SIDIKAT ALAYA (NEE OLUMOH)
My Woman Crush Everyday (WCE),
You had class and you wore it gracefully
You were stylish, elegant, beautiful inside and out
You turned out often at our ceremonies,
Children graduation, birthdays, marriages, burials etc
You would attend with Nike Olumoh, your loving sister-in-love
Who is currently crushed by your exit.

BOLA ONAOLAPO SIDIKAT ALAYA (NEE OLUMOH)
My dear friend, my sister from anothether mother
So much to say about you, but words are just inadequate right now
My heart bleed, my thoughts about you cant go away
As I drove down to town for Janaza Prayer in your honour today,
All I kept whispering to myself was:
She’s Gone, She’s Gone, Just like that. Opari niyen
I still whisper it to myself even now; She’s Gone, Oti tan Just like that.

So today you were finally laid to rest
And like all you do, it was glorious and with great grandeur
Your gentle soul in life and in death finally back to your maker

My dearest sister, BOLA ONAOLAPO SIDIKAT ALAYA (NEE OLUMOH)
Even in death you remain noble, graceful and stylish
The world stood still, Kwara stood still today as you were laid to rest
The greats and the small, the haves and the have-nots
The many lives you touched and impacted
Your colleagues, family and friends
Stood in awe, though with so much pain
Yet thanking God on your behalf
For a life of impact, influence and affluence

Adieu Sister, Adieu friend,
Adieu to a loving and caring mother, sister, wife and friends of many
Those we love, live endlessly in our hearts
Even though our hearts bleed now, we are comforted by your sweet memories
And the wonderful times we shared together
May all you left behind particularly your immediate family be truly comforted
And as for you:
May Almighty Allah accept your return
And grant you a most peaceful Aljanah (Amin)

Adieu my dearest friend, I love you greatly and wished I said it more often.

ADENIKE BABAJAMU (28TH AUGUST 2022)

“I can’t be growing old… Haba! I am only 55 not 95″

Did you ever get up from your couch in the sitting room, walked up into your bedroom to get an item and then suddenly find yourself lost in the center of your bedroom trying hard to remember what you actually came to pick?

Or maybe you are in the habit of searching everywhere for your reading glasses and after a lot of effort, you returned to pick the spare pair of glasses and as you mount it on your face you realized that you had your glasses on all the while?

Then the shocking one, you are in the bathroom, getting ready for a bath but you went out to answer a call or pick a new bath gel. You returned to the bathroom a few minutes later and as you picked your toothbrush, you are wondering if you hadn’t brush your teeth earlier.

Another shocking one is this;  you have just taken your doctor’s prescription, and then you suddenly felt that you had taken the drugs earlier and you are actually trying hard to remember if you did. Now, this one happened to me just yesterday. I had a doctor’s prescription to be taken once daily to clear an allergy. I usually take it with my meal, so yesterday after my lunch, I took the drug but just after I swallowed it, my sixth sense said to me “Omo (child) you have taken this drug before”.  I counted what was left and it was true. Wow, I said to myself “I can’t be growing old… Haba! I am only 55 not 95 and I am very young at heart”.

By the way, I was just 55 years “young” a few days ago, 17^th June to be precise. And I remember my daughter saying; Mom, you are growing old and asking how I felt. I told her I am a spirit  and spirit do not age but only gets renewed and matured. How convenient to turn spiritual. Well, so at the Communion table yesterday night, I asked God to reverse my aging process by the Blood. I do need it.

Irrespective of your age, I bet you have experienced some of these or similar occurrence at one point in your life or maybe not? But I guess that as one grows older, you actually tend to forget very simple things. Please don’t tell me it’s amnesia otherwise over 50% of Nigerians are sick  especially our politicians and government officials who am sure are expert at forgetting stuff.  

So I asked Google what to do so as not to forget very simple things. Trust me I was not the only one talking to Google on this. The result from Google is a research for anyone interested. It ranges from simple things as having a to do list, setting alarms, repeating stuff to yourself, using calendar to schedule activities, exercising regularly, writing stuff down, keeping notepads around the house or office, good nutrition etc.  I agree that all of these plus prayers and maybe medical help will help one not to forget stuff. I however recommend in addition to these reading.

Our brain is like a storehouse and somehow not doing anything with it will get it rusted and old and that is when we actually grow old. So I am going to read some more and I encourage us all to do so. I also like those simply simple stuff that I am told will help the brain to be health. They are my favorites.

While, I know that my Jergens Age defying lotion ( I love Jergens) can only help my body and not my brain, here is a list of some stuff, I am told could help;

1. Crossword puzzles,
2. Dance some more
3. Listening  to music,
4. Learn a new skill
5. S*x (relationship thing legitimately)
6. Reduce sugar
7. Video games
8. Less TV
9. Exercise
10. Learn some new skill
11. Swimming
12. Singing

I intend to try a few of those stuff except number 5 (don’t tell my husband). In any case, I agree that age is set in our minds if you are determined you can be a Kardashian at 80 (just kidding). You are built actually to be better.

As an employee. Don’t wait until you are shown the door or pressured to exit. If it is not your own, then it’s not your own. The secret is always to start from where you are, doing what you know to do best and turning your passion to your job. Follow my Friday journal and let’s journey to freedom together. 👉👉👉

www.linkedin.com/posts/adenike-omolara-babajamu-a1745132_breakthebox-careerdevelopment-startfromwhereyouare-activity-6928273398984810496-P7Dk

I mean when I was much younger it was legitimate to tell a lie on April 1^st and be forgiven. That was the only day you could prank your elders and get away with it. We looked forward to the day and actually would spend the night thinking of who to prank and what pranks to play. But everything seems too calm like April Fool is gone for good or could I have missed it?

So will it be Ok to say Happy April Fool’s day? Sounds awkward but I guess it is a happy day. One reason I can give for the unusual calmness is that with so many tik tok video pranks on the social media, the whole idea of April Fool has become underrated. For instance, I don’t need to wait till first of April anymore to pull a prank. This kind of kills the excitement associated with today in history.

Happy April Fool’s Day folks and welcome to April our most amazing month yet

A few days ago I had to travel to Ilorin in Kwara State from Lagos, Nigeria. Because of the unexpectedness of the journey and the challenge of aviation fuel coupled with frequency of flight cancellations, I opted to go by road. So I boarded a commercial car for a journey of about 4 hours. I was the first to arrive at the car park and by their law I get to sit at the front seat with the driver. I was happy to have the seat considering the distance and the heat.

Unknown to me the driver was not too happy to carry a lady on the front seat. Everything I did was wrong. If I moved my legs or adjusted the seat he would look at me from under his eyelids like I was some kind of mosquito or fly. I thought I was being over sensitive so I tried to make a conversation. At first, he pretended not to hear me.  I was not one to give up easily. So I kept pushing for conversation until he gave me the “eye” that meant keep quiet. Notwithstanding I needed to know what was wrong with this driver. By the way the guy was probably around 30 years or a little more but he was quite young and I guess if I had kids earlier, I could have had him (smiles).

We continued the journey peacefully for a while. Those who are familiar with the Lagos-Ibadan through Ogbomosho-Oyo road would know that driving on this part of the road in Nigeria goes beyond the driving skills acquired from driving schools and experience gathered over several years of driving. Guys, you need real guts to drive from Lagos through Ogbomosho- Oyo Road. It’s a story for another day.

Anyways, half way down the trip and traversing  in between the long queue of trailers, I noticed that almost all the other passengers in the car had slept and I was worried by the reckless driving of the driver. I cautioned him on this recklessness and gbam!, he exploded in native dialect and with a very derogatory tone “nkan ti mo fi so pe mi ole gbe obirin si waju moto mi ni yi o” Meaning; “this is why I said I would never carry a lady on the front seat of my car”. It got on my bad side and of course I responded badly. What on earth won’t women suffer? What has cautioning a driver against reckless driving got to do with me being a woman?

The above incident also reminded me of another one where I was badly treated simply because of my gender. As the Branch Manager in my banking days way back, a major and very prominent personality walked into the bank with a complaint. He wasn’t a customer of the bank but he was the chairman of an association that had an account in the bank. The account was abandoned and almost all the signatories had died and they needed access to the funds in the account. So because of his personality, he was brought to my office. Immediately I saw him, I rose up out of respect and courtesy to welcome him. But guess what? As soon as I was introduced to him as the Branch Manager, his countenance changed and he exclaimed “Ki leleyi? odo obinrin le mu mi wa” Meaning; “what is the meaning of this? You brought me to come and meet an ordinary woman?” Well all explanations by my staff that I was the Manager and most senior and they brought him to me out of respect for him, not wanting him to sit in the banking hall, blah blah blah.. fell on deaf ears. Well I assigned one young account officer to assist resolve his challenge and left them alone. What won’t women see?

Fortunately many of us learnt early to be unapologetically female and I have never really felt intimidated by outbursts of these kinds and trust me I have had severals working mostly among men. Sometimes I feel angry but more often I am amused and all I feel is outright pity at their levels of ignorance.

You probably are wondering where this conversation is going; not too far. I am not a feminist in the sense of feeling cheated or requiring emancipation but I just feel really sorry for our menfolk because sincerely from what is happening in the world today, they are and will be needing emancipation more than the women.

Today there are so many female CEOs, captains of great industries and leaders of organizations. Even when you attend a university or high school graduation ceremony, the ladies come out tops. Take a statistics of high performance in your organisation, you will be shocked to see that there are more females than males. And now to worsen the matter, professions that were previously exclusive reserve of the male folks are now being taken over by women.  If you check out these outstanding specie (women), you would discover that many of them had to do double whatever a man would do to get to the top and rather than getting credit for it all they get are derogatory comments from the insecure man.  

Well, I don’t intend to make this conversation long as I can not write all that is in my mind on this subject. But whether we like it or not, the new world is not about sex or gender. It is about what you have to offer irrespective of your gender. It is about excellence, efficiency and ability to deliver solutions to life’s problems. It’s not just equality, it is simply who ever the cap fits let her or him wear it without reservation. So like that my driver, if you don’t drive well and you end up in an accident, it wouldn’t matter if you had carried a woman or a man at the front seat of your car. This is life.

#breakthebias

Love is in the air. It’s being like a buildup since after the new year celebration. But  really? As in seriously? Are you breathing in the love oxygen right now?

Trust me if it was not there yesterday, it won’t be here today. And if it is only here today, then tomorrow may still be empty and all of today’s valentine excitement may not just be  a fruitless effort, but one with grievous consequences such as a broken heart, unwanted pregnancies, anger, bitterness, frustration suicidal tendencies or in extreme cases, death.

So what must I do about this day?

Be all intentional about today. Be rational about your decisions. Love adventurously but intelligently and within your boundaries. Don’t kill yourself over today, it’s still 24 hours and almost over.

In my search for how to spend my valentine day, I consulted google and realized that there were others who had searched for the same thing and guess what I Found?

So guys how do you intend to spend your today? With friends, family, lover? However, you choose to, by all means be intentional and don’t cast down your pearls before swine for momentary pleasure. For the married and engaged, my subtle counsel is to spend it legitimately; not all adventures end like Cinderella’s.

I don’t know how I will spend mine but I sure woke up with so much excitement and without sounding overly religious I got my first valentine gift from the most reliable Lover and Valentine ever, Jesus. After a few minutes of worship, He said to me “Today I will take from you a heart of stone and will replace it with a heart of flesh that you may Love me all your life” I have never heard it like that so I meditated on it because God only speaks by His words. It must be somewhere and then it popped into my heart, It’s in Ezekiel 36:25-27

A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; and ye shall be my people, and I will be your God.

Guys if your valentine has that kind of heart (fleshy not stony) he will give you the best of valentines today and not just for today but for every day of your life. May you find that valentine today and may your valentine 2022 celebration be your best ever and the beginning of greater valentines. Happy Valentine’s Day to all who read this. I love you.

PS: Shout-out to my friend and very own sister from another mother Bukola Omilabu (Nee Olaoye) whose birthday is today. Happy birthday girl, you are still in my heart as much as ever. I look forward to being a beautiful grandma as you.

And to my daughter Esther Simeon Anande-Kur. You are always in my heart babe. Happy Birthday from my soul to you. Our times together in Zaria, remain most memorable and your heavenly voice as you worship rings in my ear like yesterday.

And to Dr Muideen Akorede my runaway brother, a very happy birthday to you please come back home. We miss your trouble. You know I remember those little things you did that made me shine.

And to every other persons born on this great day. Happy birthday to you guys. For you it’s valentine no doubt.

And I got my very first Valentine alert from a very special person, my Son, Oluwadamilola. I love you son. You are my Hero today.

Even though we bade 2021 farewell in December and we all danced in the euphoria of the new year on the first of January, yet everything went blank and the world seemed to be on a pause as if reminiscing over the previous year or so it seemed.

January is that month where nearly everything seems to drag as if, not wanting the previous year to go, the month goes into mourning. It is ironic the year doesn’t really pick up until the end of January or early February long after we had wished ourselves “happy new year”.

Of course we had budget for the new year and secured approvals but many of such approvals including personal budgets are mere budget on paper with no cash back up.

The weather also added to the slumber of January with the icy harmattan here in Nigeria and winter across the many nations of the world. Yes, January is winter without Christmas, cold without festivities. We wake up feeling really cold and reluctantly drag out of bed into cold and dry days.

The excessive spending towards the end of last year, over-the-budget purchases for Christmas and New Year shopping in December had drained many people’s cash flow, put a deep hole in pockets  and made January like 62 days instead of the 31 days of the month. Pay day seemed like a million miles away

The lull in business generally made the month a very serious one in which nearly everyone became  humble. Yes, humility and gentility are the key characteristics of the month of January.

It is therefore not surprising that in more recent times people have resulted to fasting and praying more in January. This surely align with the humility of the month characterized by paucity of funds and the feeling of regrets over the excessive spending of Christmas. 

Many of the large churches in Nigeria declared corporate fasting ranging from 14 days to 21 days and even more in the month. The reason often given is spiritual. I agree with many people that to maximize the new year, a spiritual approach is of essence at the beginning. But I also know that fasting helps to reduce your expenses for the month.

So now that January is ended, it’s time to accelerate the momentum of the year 2022. There is no more tenable excuse to miss out on schedule, delay in project execution and pursuit of our year 2022 vision. Notwithstanding the seemly lull in activities in January, I can assure you that some very major events both positive and negative have taken place like the African Cup of Nations, coup in Burkina Faso and the unfortunate incident of a Lagos house wife (Motunrayo) who murdered her husband.

Those who will win this year are people who are ready to take personal responsibility for their lives. Stop the blame game and be in control of your life. Remember you are absolutely responsible for the outcome of your life. Be like water; channel your path notwithstanding any barrier on your way, by all means keep moving.

Be intentional about your life in all facets; at work, business, governance, home and community. Do not hand over the control of your life to anyone to determine your mood, your reaction and your general emotion.

Let’s go guys, time is of essence. The race has started, the clock is ticking. And in the words of Martin Luther king Junior; If you can’t fly, run. if you can’t run, walk. if you can’t walk,  crawl, but by all means, keep moving.